The first time I went to the supermarket, 5 mins from our house, by myself, without my baby.
The first time my baby went into the arms of a friend, after many meetings with friends where baby was just with me.
The first time my sister came to babysit for an hour, and I went out for tea in town with my man.
The first time using a babyphone after I rocked my baby to sleep, letting him sleep alone in the bedroom while I’m downstairs watching a series before bed.
The first time my mom came to babysit while instead of me spending the day wíth them, I actually went upstairs to do some work.
I love how I have been able to take these steps in my own timing. How I’ve kept honoring my own pace, and not tried to follow others around me who did it a bit faster.
How I’ve allowed myself to literally run back from the supermarket that first time, hesitate to leave the house that first hour of babysit, stay all day with my baby until I felt ready to let my mom take over a bit longer.
I love how my close environment welcomed and respected my feelings and boundaries as a newborn mom.
My nervousness, my wanting to check in a million times, my yes, my no, my wanting to be close.
All those first times became normal, easy, relaxed times. The moments of distance between me and baby are naturally growing.
I don’t really think about whether I should take more space or give him space away from me. It’s a feeling, an impulse, that is suddenly there. There’s a wanting to explore. A need for change. An opening up to the world. And then I know we’re ready for a next step.
I’ve noticed it’s easy in our culture to feel shame, to feel oversensitive, silly, or like you’re overreacting, as a mom following her instinct.
While in reality, you’re simply connected to your baby and their needs, and are feeling the impulse to care for them. Which, as the one who has carried and birthed the child, is basically your task.
I’ve never felt my intuition as strong as now that I’m a mother. And it’s such a feeling of well-being to allow myself to follow that inner knowing, that right timing, those true desires.
It’s part of what makes motherhood so enjoyable for me 🤍
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