 One of the best ways I found to enjoy motherhood - and life, for that matter - is to just jump into the experience and play 💦 Play with my baby, my partner, myself, my environment. With things like bedtime, ikea visits, feedings, car rides, and those end of the afternoon moments where baby is wanting party party clingy clingy while all I want is to nap. Ugh things can get so serious in motherhood, with all the sleep deprivation, all the extra to do’s, and the absence of time and space for just being with yourself. It’s easy to think motherhood will be better once you will have that time for yourself again. Once you can go out until whatever time in the night again, or take that 10-day nap you’re craving. But you know, that’s probably not going to happen anytime soon, and life is now, so there must be another way right? Everytime I resist my new reality as a mom, and blame it for why I can’t enjoy life, motherhood indeed becomes no fun for me. Very quickly. But when I just jump into the experience, and decide to be fully present with myself and my baby, motherhood becomes the most fun I’ve ever had. Just as quickly. Even with the little sleep, the three times a day cleaning baby’s extraordinary food mess, and allll the things that need to be washed 😳, arranged and taken care of. For me it’s a wonderful journey into surrender. Into letting go of control. Letting go of how I thóught my life should be in order for me to have fun and bloom. I’m realizing more and more that I held myself back for a long time, with my thoughts about a perfect life, my thoughts about what would bring happiness, or what it means to be ‘enlightened’. Motherhood is making me come to the ground, embrace the messiness of everyday, the imperfection of my humanness, and find out that the biggest joy is exactly there. Here. Now. Playing with the moment, just as it is. Never thought I would enjoy this motherhood journey so much!  It's so wonderful to see how a tiny human’s sensuality is so pure. Enjoying the water and sand on his feet, the sucking sensation of water flowing in and out between his toes. Kicking his feet in the sand and feeling how water and mud splash up onto his legs. Now and then he looks into the horizon before him, quietly, sensing whatever he experiences in that. He’s taking it all in, with curiosity, fully emerged in the moment. I believe it’s so good to give our kids all the time and space to experience these kind of things. Instead of surrounding them with noisy colorful toys to distract them from wanting our attention, from wanting to experience life together with us. Instead of trying to fit them into the busy schedules of our modern society. Opportunity and space for sensuality in experience, gives free play to their natural curiosity, imagination and joy for life. What a wonderful preparation for adult life! And just so enjoyable to jump into the moment with them, and turn your own sensuality on 🌊  When he signals it’s time for bed, we take him up. No set bedtime, but he happens to want to go to bed around the same time every day. We have our little ritual that helps to gently transition from day to night. We play, sing, laugh, cuddle, honor and care for the body, read a book, take deep breaths to release the busyness of the day, drink milk. Some days he’s already asleep before I put him into bed. Some days he is still awake, and we just look and smile at each other for a while, while we play with each other’s hands. When he’s ready for sleep, he turns his head the other way, or he lets his eyelids drop while looking at me. Some days he falls asleep lightly, and first wakes a couple of times to see if I’m still there, or he needs my hand on his chest to calm down. Some days he’s directly in deep sleep and not even the neighbors’ big noisy motorcycle wakes him up. Some days he has a bit more emotion to express, or is a bit overtired. Then we pick him up, do some walking and rocking, or whatever we feel he might need, until he calms down and signals he wants to be in his bed again. Most of the time he then falls asleep immediately. Patience, presence, connection, trust. When I surrender to these qualities, bedtime with him is a treat to myself as well. No rush, no need for him to fall asleep quickly because I want to do this or that. Just quality time, sharing a moment, being there for what is needed. Understanding a baby also has a big world of feelings, and the nighttime can wake up many things in him that might just be needing some extra sweetness, care, togetherness. Caring for a baby, to me, has many similarities in caring for your own inner children. You can’t force them into feeling safe or ready. You cán shape a safe space and warm invitation, so they can relax when they feel ready. Bonus of our little nighttime ritual (on most days): It really relaxes me into my evening! 🧘🏼♀️ |
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Let op: Mijn nieuwsbrief is langzaam weer aan het opstarten na zwangerschapsverlof en op dit moment nog bijna voltijd mama zijn. Nog even niet wekelijks dus!
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